Illustrations by Little Miss G This is what ours look like. Even Bella, our teacup Yorkie, has one. One of my favourite stories to explain "good" and "bad" in people to Little Miss G (my eight-year-old daughter) is the Cherokee tale of the two wolves; A grandfather is talking with his grandson telling him there are two wolves inside the grandfather and that they are always at war with each other. One is a good wolf representing kindness, bravery and love. The other one is a bad wolf, representing greed, hatred and fear. The good and the bad wolf are in constant battle. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second, then he looks up at his grandfather and asks, “But Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, "The one I feed!" I've told this story to Little Miss G many times. I think the last time was when she was trying to make sense of Donald Trump and the things she heard about him. I must remember this next time she questions me about President Zuma. It's always been hard for me to make peace with and accept that I have a bad side. Like most people, I try to keep it under control as much as humanly possible. But of course the bad surfaces when I really feel pushed into a corner. Afterwards there is the guilt about what I said and how I said it, even when if the situation sort of justified it. So this week, for fun, Little Miss G and I had a brainstorming session about our good and bad sides and decided to put it into pictures. It's so cool to have Trinity from the Matrix on my good shoulder, because she CAN really kick arse. She is accompanied by Carol Dweck (the intellectual), Eve Ensler (activist) and Ellen (having fun). Miss De Vil couldn't be a more perfect child-friendly character for my bad side (black and white, wild hair - I was a teenager in the late eighties, I had WILD hair - and smoking). Little Miss G has the Lego versions of The Joker and Batman as bad and good. She wears black leggings ALL the time and this last holiday she went around saying, in a deep voice "ALWAYS BET ON BLACK!" Her other good characters are Ellen and Mary Anning (the girl who cracked open the world and became a paleontologist). She chose good and bad characters on her dad's (who grew up Star War crazy) and Bella's behalf. The concept of our "dark sides" ties in nicely with Jungain psychology (which originated from the ideas of Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist, 1875 - 1961). A crucial part of Jungian phsychology, which I am totally intrigued with at the moment, emphasises the lifelong process of differentiating oneself from your conscious and unconscious elements and a big part of that is making peace with one's shadow side. It's also helps to know that even "super humans" like Ghandi, Mother Theresa and Dr. King had their shadows - no one is excempt. I like how being being a mother pulls and pushes me to sort out my own issues. To accept my child and other people completely, the good and the bad, I have to accept myself fully. I am still learning to allow my bad side to exist and accept it. I do think that is the root of true compassion so it's totally worth it to go there. BUT when Gruella de Vil appears on the odd occasion I'm also not going to loose a month's sleep about it anymore. So, what does your dark side look like? Have fun with it :-) This video does a nice job of explaining "Good Wolf, Bad Wolf" in terms of mindfulness.
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